Today is one of the days where all I want to do is sleep because the day is too much for my mind. However, this doesn’t mean I won’t laugh at a joke, or smile at someone. When my depression blah etc is at its worst, it’s (to some) seemingly inappropriate to be anything other than stony faced and miserable. This isn’t how it works. I’m allowed to laugh and joke and all manner of other emotions, having depression does not mean that I have to sit being quiet and sad. Yes, there are days I don’t want to laugh and I don’t see the point in laughing but it’s not like there’s a code for depression you have to adhere to. ‘But you seem happy, how can you be depressed?’ is a question that makes me want to scream. I go to work and I go to uni and I try to be myself as much as I possibly can. Things will amuse, my friends, family and the boy will make me smile, I’m just missing some of the connection. Depression isn’t fun, it’s so miserable that it ruins a lot of things at the moment, but I’m trying to laugh and joke and put on a smile because the world can’t stop, there’s things I have to do. So I can seem happy because I so desperately want to be, don’t try to put any form of mental illness into a box of ‘expected behaviours’ it’s an ignorant way to look at it.